What Not To Do To Slytherins
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: It's a bit like my What Not To Do In History Of Magic ficlet. James does something bad and has to write an essay for it. And we all know how that goes. Rated JUST to be safe.


Title: What Not To Do To Slytherins

Summary: It's a bit like my What Not To Do In History Of Magic ficlet. James does something bad and has to write an essay for it. And we all know how that goes.

Notes: Well, besides the obvious 200! I want to scream, I would like to maybe start this as a miniseries kind of thing, like my Sirius Junior thing. So, any idea for that will definitely be welcome.

The four Marauders found themselves ankle deep in snow as they, along with most of the school, headed towards Hogsmeade. And just ahead of them was James's favorite target to practice his hexes on.

And Snape had taken no notice to him.

Before he could, Sirius had already drawn his wand and glanced sideways at James, who, although a tiny bit reluctantly, drew his as well.

With a flash of light, and a squeal of laughter from the other students around them, Snape was sent flying into an icy pile of half-melted slush.

And, sadly for James, Professor McGonagall was also heading towards the village. And she saw them.

"JAMES POTTER!"

James recoiled at the familiar outraged yell. Sirius, beside him, was trying not to flinch as she bore down on them.

Minutes later, the two of them found themselves banned from that Hogsmeade visit. James was tempted to drag out the old Invisibility Cloak, but, as Sirius pointed out, "McGonagall will know. She must have this sixth sense about whether or not we're doing something bad."

James found himself grinning. "Sounds about right. And, lookie! Another essay."

Sirius grinned back. "Remember, James, sarcasm is golden."

James dipped his quill in his ink, straightened his parchment, and began to write.

_What Not To Do To Slytherins_

_by James Potter_

_Even though McGonagall told me to write something about hexing fellow classmates. I can't remember her exact words. She was screaming too loud and going too fast for me to understand._

_Sorry Professor._

_But, I'm getting off track. I suppose I should start with the fact that I should not get my best friend to help me hex them. Or send them into a freezing pile of half-melted snow. While in front of a teacher, anyway._

_Even though I really didn't know you were there, Professor._

_And, I suppose, hexing in general is not something I'm allowed to do to fellow students, even though they are greasy gits and they start it first. _

_It's self defense, Professor! Do you honestly expect me to lay back and take that from Snape? I'd be dead within a week! And, really, do you want to lose the Quidditch Cup to Sluggy? _

_Yeah, I thought not._

_Anyway, back to hexing them. Which covers a lot of what I've done to them in general. So, no target practice, no using them to practice my spellwork itself, I guess I can use Peter for that. Kidding, just kidding. _

_And I guess paying the House Elves to do terrible things to their breakfast is pretty bad, too, huh? Oh... wait, you didn't know who did that. Forget I wrote that, OK?_

_Oh! I almost forgot about the whole Potions Sabotage. That was great. We're not allowed to do that, either, are we? Tampering with their ingredients and making it explode. Even though they all did look a whole lot better with all those purple boils. _

_Improving their beauty, that's what that was! I was doing it for the good of my fellow students!_

_Something tells me you won't believe that._

_Getting Peeves to help me flood the dungeons, that wasn't such a good idea, either. Even though they all could use a bath. I should have tossed some bubble soap down there or something. Even if I did, I'm sure you would have found something wrong with that, as well._

_Slytherins can swim... I think._

_As I run out of parchment, but not things to write about, I would just like to say one more thing to you, Professor:_

_Why do you have to ruin my fun? Dumbledore, I think, gets a kick out of some of the things Sirius and I do! Lighten up! Please?_

James finished it and passed it, smirking, to Sirius, who was trying his best to hold in his laughter by the end of it.

"McGonagall will never lighten up," Sirius pointed out, "and she's going to skin you, you realize that, don't you?"

"'Course." James rolled up the bit of parchment, grinned, and raced out of the Common Room and to McGonagall's office. She had not returned yet, so, he sat the parchment on her desk where she would be sure to see it, gave it a nice little pat, and strode out, wondering how long it would be for her to read that.

And find him to punish him.


End file.
